The last couple of days we have been enjoying the company of Far Guy's cousin from Alaska. He had hip replacement surgery and is recuperating quite well..he is only a little gimpy. Since he grew up at the farm kitty corner from where I grew up, we have lots in common. We took an area tour, talking, reminiscing about people and places. It was great fun!
We did have a mission ..to visit another cousin of Far Guys and Alaska Guys. For the purposes of this blog I will call him Street Rod. A long time ago Street Rod allowed his friends to cover his arm in catsup, then he crawled into the trunk of his friends car, with one hand holding the trunk shut and the other catsup covered arm very visible to the unsuspecting people of Detroit Lakes. Needless to say Street Rod was without wheels for several weeks.
Street Rod is one year older than Far Guy and Alaska Guy. Street Rod is in the Nursing Home. He has multiple health issues, diabetes, failing eye sight, dialysis and he is an amputee with a flashy red metallic flake wheelchair/ scooter. He may have lost the use of his legs but his sense of humor is still intact. The guys had a good visit. Street Rod was having some indigestion and had to go get his Rolaids. I offered to get them from his room, He said "Nope, around here you have to have a Doctors orders for Rolaids." He scooted out and returned saying "I am too old for this shit." His mood deteriorated after that, he was tired and needed to lay down before going to dialysis, so we left.
After leaving "the home" we all talked about our unwillingness to be residents of such a facility. We know they are necessary we just don't want to go there ..ever.
Later after we got home, I told Far Guy that I would try to do whatever was necessary to keep him out of the home for as long as I could. He said "No need to worry I will be in the pen." I said "WHAT?" He replied "Well Alaska Guy was feeling so bad about having to go to the home someday, he made me promise to kill him first." Now let me tell ya I just left them behind for three minutes while I walked to get the car in the rain, and during that time they must have had time to REALLY talk. Next time the gimpy one and one who hurts when wind hits his face can get the car for me:)
My step father passed away minutes before being transferred to the nursing home. I think he fought for his life up until that point and when he realized the nursing home was his only alternative he gave up his fight.
ReplyDeleteMen are very proud and they can't except not being able to care for themselves....more so than women. My moms prayer was she would never have to put him in the nursing home and God answered that one just in the nick of time. Pray that your husband and cousin will never have to be put in that situation, that God will intervene just in time.
That is a great and well written post, a interesting ending. Nursing homes are something that we have been dealing with for over 11 years now. It can be better, or worse than you think. Making decissions before it becomes a necessity is imperative. Both for yourself, and others. Everyone should have the difficult talks, while you still can......
ReplyDeleteWhen we first got married, Gar used to ask me to shoot him before letting him go into a home like his mom. In the first blush of love, I agreed, not realizing that he was serious. Now we have made it into more of a joking kind of funny statement, but I think that he still means it. I honestly hope that it never is a decission that has to be made.
Jen
I've already told my kids that I will never, ever go to a nursing home. I will figure out a way to go quietly to sleep and never wake up when/if the need arises.
ReplyDeleteexcellent, excellent post. I'm not sure HOW i feel about nursing homes. We've had good and bad experiences with them.
ReplyDeleteGreat post here. I hate nursing homes too and unfortunately, I can't stay out of them. I only go in here and there to see patients of mine but always, always leave with a migraine. It's a sorry state of affairs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my place.
I'm not sure how, at the tender age of 47, I've managed to have no experience of nursing homes and have attended only one funeral.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by to visit. Please come by any time.
Carolynn
I understand the unwillingness to go there. I used to work in one, as did my mom and unfortunately my great-grandmother had to be in one along with her daughter (my great-aunt). But we never forgot them there, my mom, grandma and I would take them out every Wednesday (and holiday), we would go shopping and out to eat, etc. It is sad when it's necessary. And in working there I saw too many people forgotten.
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