Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Ancestry Connection

Far Guy took an Ancestry DNA test a year ago.   Good thing too as it was the beginning of a much larger story.

On Sunday January 5  Far Guy received an email from someone on Ancestry " Hello. I am now in a more comfortable position to start messaging those connected to me on this site.  You and I are related.  I know for sure you are not one of the siblings, so you must be a cousin to my father.  I would love to know more about his side.  Would you mind helping me?  Thanks"

Far Guy said "I think I got a spam email on Ancestry?"  I replied "Spam is very unlikely on Ancestry."  I talked him into answering the email... "Fathers name, where does he live now...what year were you born?"

In the meantime Far Guy emailed his cousin who said "Is this a joke?"  Nope... a few minutes later the phone rang and more conversation continued between the cousins.  A bit of research was done, a few questions asked.  I point blanked asked "Did  you have unprotected sex sometime in the early 1980's in one particular part of the United States?"  The answer was yes... possibly.  I found a photo of his daughter on the Internet ...no doubt in my mind that he was a daddy.

He could not believe it...he had many questions...should he have a DNA test to prove paternity?  Should he email her or just call her???  He was just stunned and repeated over and over I just cannot believe this is happening....then he would say of course if I have a daughter I want to meet her and be involved in her life.

We were sworn to secrecy!  He asked me not to write about it on the blog until his daughter had time to contact all her relatives to tell them the news.  She has recently acknowledged her Dad on Facebook...so now I can share this story with you!  They have met and spent several days together, he is not only a father but a grandfather.  He has no other children so this new found daughter is an absolute blessing to him. We are just thrilled for him and for his daughter and we hope to meet her when she comes to Minnesota.

 She is a teacher.

She was persistent.  Last summer she contacted a sibling, that said they would "get back to her"  but never did. Can you imagine a sibling not saying anything to another sibling?

She then figured that her father may not want to be in contact with her....I guess you always consider the worst case scenario.

Anyway she wanted to try one last time and Far Guy was the connection she pursued...one last try to see if she could find out something about her Dad.

I love that TV Show Long Lost Family and watch it all the time.  Never thinking that we would be involved in our own drama!

For the record.  Far Guy's cousin did not know about a pregnancy or a child.  Finding out you are a Dad and a Grandpa at age 70 is quite a shock...they both feel many years have been wasted so they hope to make up for it now.

Far Side


34 comments:

  1. Wonderful story! I'm sure you know my background and since doing ancestry, I've found a niece I wasn't aware of. It sure is interesting.

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  2. That is such a sweet story. I know a few people who were adopted and found their birth parents and are absolutely thrilled.

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  3. We just had the same crazy drama. Daughter had to take a DNA test for her Celiacs as requested by her doctor and we were contacted by a man that is closely related to her on my side. I am pretty sure the guy who is four months older than me is my half brother. He was put up for adoption here in Baltimore. He looks just like my dad who was a real lady's man back in the day. He was only 21 when he had to marry my 16 year old mom because of....me. Lol. It's too late now to know if my parents knew about him. At least the poor guy had a happy childhood in his adopted home. He has a lovely family and they are thrilled to learn where he came from even though there is hardly any of us left.

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  4. What a wonderful story! Mine didn't end up so happy. I found out I had 2 half brothers as my real father remarried after divorcing my mother. My father never told his wife he had been married before and had a daughter although there were some in his family that knew but they never told. After my parents died I felt better about trying to find my father. He had died but I discovered I had 2 half brothers. One had recently committed suicide and was a professor of philosophy at Xavier College in Cincinnati and the other was a data processing person at Kaiser Permanente in CA. What's funny is in my high school yearbook they talked about me having "philosophical" talks late into the night with other students (I went to a private boarding school). As for the living brother; he was in computers as I was too with a degree in Computer Science. I finally got his email, told him who I was but he didn't want to talk to me. As an only child I was very hurt but some things happen for the best. I'm glad other's stories turn out happier.

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  5. It's possible the sibling thought it was a scam like FarGuy did. So glad they got together and it had a happy ending!! Nice to know that actually happens. :)

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  6. This is a really delightful story, with a happy ending and all. I do hope you get to meet everyone eventually and of course you will take pictures. :-)

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  7. What an incredibly great ending to this! I know I have a two half siblings somewhere in the United States but have no idea if they ever knew of me and my siblings.

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  8. What a wonderful "happy ever after". I have two stories. My youngest brother was engaged to a girl and found out she was seeing his best friend on the side. She married the friend and had a daughter. Daughter contacted him in her twenties, they took DNA tests and - it's a girl! I finally met her this year. I took the Ancestry test last year and have one "first cousin" match. I wrote her an email to figure out which of my cousins might have tested. We have a small family tree (obviously) and I just knew we knew each other. She wrote me back "I am adopted and have no interested in connecting with or learning about my birth family". I was confused as to why she would test then. With such a small family, I know who her father was immediately by comparing other matches. Maybe she did the same thing and that was enough.

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  9. Happy that this turned out well - sometimes they don’t.

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  10. I am glad it all turned out well...like Tired Teacher sometimes it's a complete mess. Anyway...yay for the cousin and his daughter!

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  11. These are usually great stories. They are hard to believe. They can be touchy. My daughter found her birth mother and the whole family. she knows who her father is but has not chosen to meet him .

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  12. With all of the DNA testing now, there are many stories like this one. I'm glad FG's cousin's story is turning out to have a happy ending. These can be very complicated and messy situations.
    So far no one in my family who has had DNA testing, Tom and I included, has had any surprises.

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  13. Amazing! I can just imagine the cousin’s joy with finding out he had a daughter and being able to connect. I enjoyed reading the other stories in the comments above. Thanks, all, for sharing.

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  14. I'm so gad this has had a happy ending for your family. So often these stories don't. I hope there are many happy times of getting to know each other.
    Blessings,
    Betsy

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  15. It is an amazing good story. Many people are out there that may not know who they really are. Even in today's time, our neighbor lady had a granddaughter that refused to reveal who the father was of her child. Eventually the grandchild did start to look like their father in does live in town. Neighbor lady knows now and maybe others do too.

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  16. That's wonderful. I'm glad it had a happy ending for Far Guy's cousin and his daughter.

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  17. Wonderful story and touches me on such a personal level. About a decade after my parents died (too young) I learned that I have a half-brother. Somewhere out there. I've also done the DNA testing from multiple companies with the hope that I would find him or a descendant of him. No luck so far but I haven't completely given up hope. Ironically it was only a secret from me - most all of my cousins knew. And my SIL did the DNA testing in hopes of learning who his father was for sure. So far he has been un-interested in meeting him.

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  18. We found a half first cousin gang. Turns out their mother was my father's sister. When she was about three, the older children were told she had died. My grandmother had given her away. I'm so sad my father never knew the truth.

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  19. Wow! I'm so glad this turned out well and they will be able to meet. It just shows there can be many things we don't know about our families. We took the DNA test from 23 & Me and so far have only found 2nd & 3rd cousins and beyond. As far as I know, I know all of my 1st cousins but like Far Guy's story, you may not know for sure! I am happy for Far Guy's cousin and his new found daughter!

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  20. Last year my cousin was contacted by someone who thought they shared the same father. She was correct but destroyed her memories of the loving, devoted family man she thought her father was. The half sister had grown up in a not so great family and was very pushy about meeting everyone in the family. That was something my cousin was hesitant to do and the new relationship became very strained. After some time away (my cousin went to Florida for the winter) she decided that when she came home in the spring she would mend their relationship. Unfortunately, she died very unexpectedly so there was no resolution. My husband gave me a DNA test for Christmas and so far no surprises!

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  21. Wow what a story my daughter did the ancestry DNA but no surprises

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  22. Wow, that is fascinating! I read it kind of fast at first and thought it was Far Guy that discovered he had another daughter! Oops, sorry Far Guy! How wonderful that the cousin and his new found daughter are both happy with finding each other.

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  23. That's quite an amazing story. And great news for FG's cousin who never had any other children.

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  24. Well, that is a beautiful ending to a fascinating story. I am happy for far guy's cousin...especially since he was happy with the news and wanted to meet and get to know his daughter. What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing!

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  25. So glad your story has a happy ending. In our extended family is a crusty old bachelor who was contacted by a young woman in Australia who turned out to be a daughter he never knew he had. They have met, but he is still stunned by the shock of it all.

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  26. Oh what a story! I , too, am thrilled that the father and daughter are reunited and both are interested in some form of communication. How wonderful.

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  27. This is a sweet story - I wish them time for catching up.

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  28. Wow, I'm glad it worked out for both of them. It's amazing what that sequence of DNA can bring to light.

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  29. My brother in law had to relinquish 3 kids in 1979 just recently two of those children contacted someone in our family..My brother in law is thrilled but wonders why he has never heard from the 3rd child..It has been 40 years, they wanted to know medical answers nothing more, it crushed him..Their mother was and is mentally ill and our relative suffers from great ptsd and many health problems..Not all reunions are happy..I do not know much about my biological dad and it will stay that way as many health issues in my blood family..I say let sleeping relatives lie in peace..just saying!!!!!!!!!!

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  30. This is very interesting. I joined Ancestry to see if I could find out some information on my biological father. I did meet him and get to know him a little when I was growing up but his paternity is sketchy and I wanted to know more. Unfortunately the DNA I needed to link up with was from my Grandfather or others his age who did not have the benefit of DNA testing. I'm ok with it but I have wondered how much this will affect people going forward. People like your husband and his then partner. The 60s and 70s were a grand time and what about the soldiers from Vietnam and the children they left behind. I was lucky enough to have a great family with my mother, step-father, 2 half-sisters and half-brother. I did not grow up wondering about where I came from but with Ancestry, etc. we can how link to those we yearn to know.

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  31. What a wonderful story! I'm so glad Far Guy's cousin was willing to let you tell the story to us. There are many other stories out there, just like that. DNA is amazing.

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Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comments! If you have a question I will try to answer it here. I no longer accept anonymous comments. Connie