Gone

 

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

 

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

 

Gone where?

 

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

 

And that is dying...

Grandma passed away in late evening Feb. 11th 2024

No News is Good New Unless...

 ... we are still waiting. The waiting is harder on us than it is for Grandma. Dying and birth happens on their own time. There might be all kinds of theories: someone hasn't said goodbye and so she's waiting, she wants to be alone, or perhaps she is simply not ready. 

I traveled with my father, and son, Noah, and naughter, Maddie to sit with Grandma and hold her hand. I'd like to think the voices in the room bring her comfort, and if nothing else the company of visitors bring  help carry the burden of grief. 

Naughter? Yes, that is a new word --born when Paige decided I was a Maunt. I am a Mom/Aunt; therefore they are my Niece/Daughters. It takes a village. 

No one grieves in the same way. What is right for some may not be what is right for others. What I do know is we are all waiting the time to be marked; for there to be a "before" and "after," but until then we sit in the company of others, we encourage Grandma to "go" we tell her "it's okay" and "we will be okay, that we all love her. We encourage her to go with the messenger who comes for her, and we all know it will be Grandpa. 

"When Dad comes, you go with him" -- The Four. 

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Two days without a blog was too much for me too! Your words of encouragement are kind, and the community my mom has built with this blog is a blessing to all of us. 

Guest Blogger

Hi Mom! I hacked into your computer to blog for you because I know your readers will miss you. I miss you too because now I have to take care of Dad... I mean Farguy. Relax... I throw M&M's at him every so often... I waited in the car while his infusion took forever, and I didn't even make him eat cereal for supper. Okay, okay, that isn't want I really wanted to say...

You are doing important work that of a daughter and being by your moms side as she take the last breaths of her earthly journey. I don't like to dwell on how that must feel; the unbearable weight of sadness. Yet on the other hand, how glad Grandpa must be to see her again! In our faith we know we will see each other again, and we know in heaven there is no more pain, and no more tears. 

So let's pray:

"Keep watch dear Lord with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake." Amen.

Time away

 I will be spending time away from the blog. Hospice is managing my Mom’s pain, my siblings take turns staying with Mom.

Blooming trees in my parents yard in town before they moved to assisted living. My parents were always so happy to see this pair of trees blooming in their yard

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Hospice

 Hospice Nurses and Aides are marvelous people.  They are taking good care of my Mom as she transitions from this life to the next. 

My Mom loved Purple Coneflowers.  This is a photo of some of her flowers a few years ago. 

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Frosty

 We had frosty foggy roads on our trip back to see my Mom. We were there for two visits with her.  She is still in pain but the pain is better than it was last week.  Mom sleeps much of the time and is very unsteady.  Mom was 94 on her last birthday, she has had a long life.  

One day at a time. 

We stayed overnight at our own home, enjoyed the whirlpool and visits with my brothers and their wives. 

There is little to no snow in our yard.  We dropped off our taxes at the accountant.  Yeah for crossing something off our winter list!

Sadie and Little Elvis were very happy to see us return. 

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Busy Weekend

 Saturday was a catch all day, I had a Hobby Lobby list, taxes to get together so they are ready to go to the accountant and being the chief cook and a painters assistant rounded out the day.   I made a Gluten Free Apple Pancake that you put in the oven. 

Sunday we plan to go visit my Mom in the Nursing Home.  She is struggling with back pain. 

The only school photo of my Mom. She was most likely 7 or 8 in the photo. Taken about 1936 or 1937.

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Colorful

 Last week I showed you this photo.

Now the little colorful squares are pushed together and glued into place. 

It still needs a frame. 

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Bass Sticks

 When you are almost four years old you get to go to Jim Naah Sticks....or bass sticks... or Jim bass sticks one and the same to the almost four year old. 

I got to go along to bass sticks.  

When you are sited (excited) you can run really fast! 

Trying to walk along a beam.

Many children hollering "teacher" all at once!  Cee Cee had fun! 

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Book Club: February 2024

 We had book club yesterday.  Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo.

I was not thrilled with the book, I gave it two stars out of ten.  There are three more books in the series and no one in book club was excited to read them. 

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Coloring on wood

 I colored this small project one day.  Interesting to use colored pencils on wood. 

Well congratulations to us and to you too for making it to February! 

The weather is nice and warm, I believe it was a record breaking 48 F or  9 C eh! yesterday, more snow and ice melted. 

Far Guy is feeling a bit better. One day at a time. 

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Great Stuff

 The Greats visited here today after daycare/school.  They like pickles...and bananas.  Of course we have fruit snacks on hand all the time and Tootsie Roll Pop suckers for the road. 

Ree has her first tooth and has almost conquered sitting up by herself...she still has a round butt.  She is smiley and sometimes happy even though she is teething. 

I helped Jen with an art project.  It was Sadie's day at daycare....rumor has it that there are four Goldens there about her age and they keep each other running all day so she is exhausted when she gets home.   It is a day off for Little Elvis. 

Far Guy warmed up left overs for supper.  

The art project, hopefully I will get a photo of it when it is finished.  Can you guess what it is?

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Winter warmth

It was 39 F or 4 C here today, it was a very nice day, some snow and ice melted.   Sadie got to go for a long walk.  I made supper; pork roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, roasted carrots and parsnips = comfort food.

Far Guy is not feeling great, he is fighting off a cold. 

I worked on some of  my crochet projects and played with the dogs. 

Photo from my archives.

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Weekend Stuff

Saturday I did a bunch of laundry, cleaned a bathroom and crocheted.  Noah joined us for a early supper/late lunch at the Blue Moose.  It was good to catch up with him over a meal.  

We had a quiet day Sunday, everyone is back home after meetings and weekend get aways.   Sadie is much happier with everyone at home. 

Far Guy and I did some grocery shopping and some more laundry.  We picked up Pizza from Papa Murphys and that was supper on Sunday.  

Our weather has turned warmer.  It was 35 F or 2 C eh yesterday...nice! 

Sweet Peas with raindrops, photo taken years ago one Summer day.

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A Trade

 Sadie visited me early one morning and brought me a ball, she left it for me but took my small pillow.  I suppose it is a matter of perspective whether it was a good trade or not. 

I gave her the ball back, here she is playing keep away from Gramma...if I reach down to get the ball she quickly snatches it up in her big old mouth.  Once in awhile I can get her to drop the ball but not consistently. 

Little Elvis and Sadie are sometimes pals, Little Elvis loves a game of ball so he can run and bark...he has yet to get a ball and bring it back in the last 14 years. Little Elvis has his own rules for playing ball. 

Far Guy went to Dog Obedience Class with us last week.  Sadie works well for him too.  She is so big and strong it was nice to have someone else to help with her. She wants to smell everything and pull on the lead.  She still needs work on recall, stay and walking on the leash politely. 

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Mayhem

 Our latest puzzle was Mayhem in the Library.  There are 101 names of books illustrated in the puzzle. 

It was a fun puzzle. 

No mayhem in the kitchen. 

I can cook a one pan meal and enjoy the Amaryllis.  The meal was Chicken Alfredo. 

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Experiment Part Two

 Our experiment with the Amaryllis bulbs continued.

Jen and Far Guy found that the faster you dipped the bulbs in the wax the faster they were coated.

We used painters tape to seal off the tops of the bulb and then Jen spray painted them.  There was a purple one but it went over to Maddie. 

As you can see the red one has growth already. 

It was a fun project. 

We have a bunch of beautiful blooms. 

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Quiet Day

 Not much new here...same old same old. 

My major accomplishment for the day was folding a load of laundry and petting dogs. 

Clean clothing and happy dogs! 

Little Elvis

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Stuff

 Finally I am done with Doctor appointments for a bit.   I have two types of Arthritis...Rheumatoid and Psoriatic, possibly Lyme Arthritis and Chronic Pain Syndrome. 

My Doctor up here in Grand Forks started me on an antidepressant that sometimes helps with joint pain and it seems to be working.  My every other week injections of Humira also seem to be helping finally.  I have kept a pain diary since November 1st.  The past week my pain has been less...I am at a six instead of a nine or ten. I still have severe fatigue...the Doctor hopes that will get better as the pain retreats. 

I have Polyclonal Hypergammaglobulinemia. The Hematologist and the Rheumatologist believe it is from Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Basically my immune system has gone nuts making so many antibodies.   There is nothing that can be done about it.  It won't kill me. Just another by product of arthritis.  The only way to treat it is to get rid of the underlying cause...which is Arthritis. 

 Ya well if I had a magic wand to wave! 

One day at a time.  One foot in front of the other! 

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Wood Crafts

 Jen and Andy make some awesome woodcrafts.  Far Guy and I have been helping with the painting.  

Jen said make something out of the left over wood scraps so I did.

It can be what ever you want it to be.  I see an Angel.  Jen was not in the immediate area when I chose the shimmery turquoise paint color...she came into the room and said "Oh not the metallic paint...oh well do your own thing Mom."

The next time she showed up she thought is was very pretty. 

Here is another of my scrappy creations. 

Fun stuff makes the day go faster. 

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