... we are still waiting. The waiting is harder on us than it is for Grandma. Dying and birth happens on their own time. There might be all kinds of theories: someone hasn't said goodbye and so she's waiting, she wants to be alone, or perhaps she is simply not ready.
I traveled with my father, and son, Noah, and naughter, Maddie to sit with Grandma and hold her hand. I'd like to think the voices in the room bring her comfort, and if nothing else the company of visitors bring help carry the burden of grief.
Naughter? Yes, that is a new word --born when Paige decided I was a Maunt. I am a Mom/Aunt; therefore they are my Niece/Daughters. It takes a village.
No one grieves in the same way. What is right for some may not be what is right for others. What I do know is we are all waiting the time to be marked; for there to be a "before" and "after," but until then we sit in the company of others, we encourage Grandma to "go" we tell her "it's okay" and "we will be okay, that we all love her. We encourage her to go with the messenger who comes for her, and we all know it will be Grandpa.
"When Dad comes, you go with him" -- The Four.
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Two days without a blog was too much for me too! Your words of encouragement are kind, and the community my mom has built with this blog is a blessing to all of us.
18 comments:
I was with my mom when she passed, and surrounding her with prayer and family, I'm sure, was a blessing for her. May your mom have a peaceful passing, surrounded by love and family.
This is beautifully expressed. Thank you for letting us know.
God's blessings to all of your family. Grandma is loved by so many.
how blessed you are to be with her during this transition...so many never get the opportunity...my sincere sympathy
Saying this kind of good-bye is so hard. BUT!!! For me I am so glad I have been there for all of those I could be there for. As I am sure each of you are.
Love and prayers to each of you!
Linda
Yes, birth and death come in their own time. It is wonderful to know she is surrounded by so much love...and has love waiting for her.
I don't know if there is someone who isn't able to come to see her, but if so let her know that they are thinking of her and would be there if she could. I am positive my Dad hung on waiting for my sister to arrive - she didn't and had no intention of doing so. But I said it over and over, Kathy can't come right now, but she'd be here if she could. At least she showed up for the funeral, saying she wanted to remember as he was at her last visit.
My heart goes out to the entire family. This transistion can be difficult, especially sitting vigil. I'm sure she is comforted by the thought you are there for her and waiting for her love to come.
It may just be hard to leave such a beautiful family.
Connie, you are all in my prayers. I know that your Mom feels all the love that is around her. How blessed to are to have such a close and loving family. Much love to you all.
Blessings and hugs,
Betsy
Your faith will get you through this and your Grandmother is so lucky to have you and your family. I will continue to pray for all of you. You are a great Maunt too! Tell your Mom I am thinking of her and she is in my prayers along with your entire family. Hugs to you all!
Thinking of you. Your Grandma is in good hands and the time will come in its own time. My mother in law waited until she was all by herself. Each time is individual, as you already know and the hospice people will know all the signs and will prepare you. You are a loving family and you will get through this hard time. P.S. I do not know your family "in person" but I've come to know them through this blog.
I love the names little kids call people. My husband's dad was always "DD" because the first born grandchild could not say Grand-daddy. She is now in her fifties! Also his dad had a special recipe for spaghetti where the sauce is made from catsup and Worcestershire sauce. Sounds odd but it's delicious. (Our older daughter says there is a similar sauce like that in Japan for stir-fry.). That spaghetti is called, "DD's spaghetti".
You all are saying and doing the right things for your Grandma. It is tiring and it is hard and it is so very final - - -even for Christians who know they will meet again. Earth seems emptier until then. Please make sure Far Side gets enough rest if she feels she can leave her or nap in the room. She doesn't need to get sick or make her diseases get worse. However I know it is hard for people to leave a mom while she is still with you.
I've heard that hearing is the last sense to go so talking could be comforting. Sometimes it takes a long time for the body to give up.
Continued prayers of comfort and peace for all of you (hugs)
So the waiting continues. God bless you all for being there and helping out with the important watching and waiting and praying. It is important. And your Grandma might be hearing everything you're saying. When my mom was dying and was in a coma for many days, I was alone with her one afternoon and I held her hands and told her...."Mom, we will never forget you." she passed shortly after that. I'll always hold that in my heart. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers these days.
It is good for her to have so much family with her. I'm sure she is aware of your presence. When my brother was dying from cancer and near the end, I told him it was okay to let go. He passed within the next half hour. I think sometimes they struggle to hold on for us. I'm holding you all in my prayers.
Blessings and Hugs Connie, Gene and Family
The waiting is hard. The 'before/after' is hard too, in a different way.
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