Sometimes it helps me to write about something that is stuck in my craw. Today that concerns a 18 year old young lady. She comes by the museum often…she did not graduate last spring.
Last year she thought she would graduate..then I suspect that since she lives apart from her parents.. she slept in ..and missed too many days of school to graduate.
She showed up at the museum..I asked her “Why aren’t you in school?” She replied “Because I am going to go to night school..I hate getting up early in the morning to go to school.” I asked “When do you start night classes?” She replied “I am not sure.” I said “You better get your butt in gear..just incase it doesn’t work out..maybe you should go back to high school this year.” Nope she hates school and she hates getting up in the morning. She is looking for a job..she had a job for three weeks then she was let go..she said “For having a bad attitude.”
I did everything I could do but stand on my head to encourage her to go back to school. I told her that without a HS diploma you are stuck with menial jobs that don’t pay well. I told her to think beyond “small town” and to further her education she needs that diploma.
How does she survive? Many people are enabling her. Her parents must hand out cash on a regular basis…since they are divorced I am sure they do not communicate. Her Mom pays her cell phone bill. She lives in a place with another gal where she only has to pay utilities ( another Mom is enabling her child). So if you only pay part of the utilities and buy a few groceries and have enough money for gas..what more do you need? I think Daddy bought the car and covers the insurance (another enabler). Her Grandparents ( all four) must dole out cash too..on a weekly basis.
I feel sorry for her. No one cares enough about her to see that she went to school..to see that she was not going to graduate. Someone dropped the ball. Someone was not doing their job. MANY people were not doing their job..Teachers, Principals, Advisors and Parents.
How does this happen this day and age? How can the parents be so blind to the education of their child? The child does not need a car or a cellphone..both should be taken away if she cannot pay the bill. She should have never been allowed to leave home before she was 18..but that is water under the bridge and nothing can be done about that.
I know what I would do if she were my child. I would pay the car insurance and the cell phone bill IF her fanny was parked on a desk in school. If not she can walk everywhere and write letters to her friends.
A long time ago when our oldest daughter was in college..she had a tough semester and wanted to quit. I said “Sure, go ahead and quit, I can put you to work here at the resort for your room and board.” She stayed in school:)
It's sad when the very adults who are supposed to be there for the child, lose interest and take the easy way out.
You are so right!!! We are becoming a country of underachievers. I don't know what the answer is, but education is the key. Before I retired, my position was to screen single mothers who didn't have an education for eligibility in our program. CAP Services required the candidate worked part time, be below poverty level, and attended school part time. We helped with tuition, books, childcare and mileage. It was so rewarding to help turn a life around and watch them move out of poverty. Unfortunately, that program is not duplicate anywhere else in the United States.
You are so wise, Far Side, and it shows with your kids and everyone you are responsible for. They are all achievers and know that nobody is going to pay their way. I feel sorry for the young woman, too. She will never be a success unless someone or something comes along to wake her up. :-(
The parents dropped the ball! - the school can't educate - the courts can't enforce the rules - it takes getting little johnny there in that seat day after day and if a parent isn't willing to do that then the rest of the system will fail. Children don't all learn the same way - sometimes it takes another look at little johnny's education and how he learns for maybe a nontraditional learning experience but he needs an education. The parents have let that child down. Oh boy, now I think you got me going Far Side!
This is so sad. However, you see it everywhere. People enabling other people to be underachievers, slackers,etc. People just feel someone else can take responsibility for them. I sure didn't bring my son up that way and he isn't bringing his son up that way either. Logan is expected to take responsibility for his own actions. I feel for this girl as without some guidance she will never get anywhere. At least you tried to talk to her and set her straight. Maybe some of it sunk in.
These children (and this girl is by no means unique) are brought up in the "me " generation, they start out as children who get what they want by whining their parents into submission, and I blame the parents who don't have the intestinal fortitude to overcome their own bad upbringing to do what's right for their children- remember a lot of these parents were born in the permissive '60's. The Bible says the sins of the fathers are visited unto the children to the fourth generation, and as I age I can see that this is true- unless one makes a concerted effort to break the chain. I grieve for the children of these times, they have a mess of a society that has thrown good values out the window.
I think Chance is smarter than this girl... sad.
Well put my friend!!! It may not be the 'easy' way out but a parent has to buckle down and practice tough love to see their child through.
God bless and I hope your havin' a fantastic day!!! :o)
Sadly, this happens in my area, too. Too many parents want to be "friends" with their children instead of a "parent" who has to make tough choices. Teenagers want to boundaries; they just act like they don't.
I appreciate your concern for this kid and trying to send her in the right direction. Working against the other issues is almost impossible.
Alberta has a very low rate of high school completion. Too many employers are willing to take these kids for their own self interest. There are high paying jobs in the oil patch but they won't last forever.
Sadly, my generation raised the parents of this girl, which doesn't put stars in our crowns either. I don't know what the answer is, but I hope the trend changes soon. We are losing too many of these kids.
It's sad isn't it. No Goals - no nothing! Wonder where she'll be 6 mos from now.
Sad story. You are right: the crux of the issue is motivation, and that poor girl has no reason to feel motivated to do for herself. While her parents may have failed her, thankfully you did what you could and spoke up. Maybe--just maybe--she will take to heart what you said. She certainly needs to.
I will refrain from getting on my soap box. You addressed the issues very nicely.
It's a tough time to grow up - but in what ways are today's parents, and our society in general, contributing to the problem?!
I would love to see the statistics on our high school drop outs with respect to intelligence. I imagine that those who leave high school are most often on either end of the normal distribution curve. I think our schools do a huge disservice to our bright kids.
Sadly, so many parents don't think about the bigger picture and realize that their job is to help their children become independent, decent human beings. On the other hand, no matter WHAT kind of parents you may have the bottom line is that everyone is responsible for their own lives. The girl is choosing what she thinks is the easy way. You can't blame other people for your own path. Well, you can, I guess--LOL! some people do it their entire, long miserable lives. But that's their choice, too. ;)
Our home is about 1 block from a high school the kids sit on our neighbors curb never walk across the walkway in the field to school..In washington state one must have a reason to drop out, but many do, the school and police feel it is child abuse and try to get the kids to go to alternative schools, many go to these schools and attend the junior college in this town..Many educators, social workers, police and volunteers in our school district help the kids who parents do not care at all they really do, I walk past the kids sometimes I pick up garbage from our yard and they are all starving no breakfasts, I bring out waffles or pancakes and coffee, they gobble them up and continue to school..Oh my goodness...I went to many schools after losing my mother after she died when I was young, rural schools the teachers knew my kin, grandparents, etc. You never got a pass from attending school at all, never, they tutored those with weak reading skills, many did not attend any college but they absolutely got their high school diploma and many got technical training to run farms from their parents, do automotive work, work in the railroad and in the larger city technical work that paid fairly well, their wives were my classmates, they became teachers, nurses, one became a veternarian and one a doctor, choosing to live in the small town where I went to grade and high school marrying the fellows who got the auto, tech, etc. jobs remaining to teach their friends kids and grandkids far away from the baloney in the big towns and to help those who needed the help in school...a very different life than what I got into in the big big cities..which I don't live in now, no sireeee bob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot imagine someone not giving a you know what and insisting that girl walk to school no cell phone at all, and attending high school to get her diploma, surely the school could care enough to let her attend a little later, our own daughter hated morning classes she was a whizbang and got to go to junior college later in the day for a full day of classes cause she had all her requirements for high school done by her junior year of high school and this state had just implemented running start for junior college..wow whee we saved about 16,000 tuition and fees cause she completed two years of college when she graduated from high school and continued on in a university state here and got to explore many many majors, of which she got 2 major and 3 minors, graduated with honors and was always not a morning person..She knew no college degree no life, she heard this mantra her entire life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We would not put up with any baloney as both her daddy and myself had to work and work and go to school and pay and pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It seemed to take forever but we got thru and would not let our only child (wanted more kids could not have them) slide into the abyss of no college education...Love Love Love your blog, what you do for others is so evident in your blog, I say God Bless to you and keep up your wonderful blog, maybe just maybe that girl will get her high school degree because you truly care, it seems her parents, counselors, school administration dropped the ball indeedy!shameful!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe her beginning will be because you truly do care about her and an education!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could rant here, I have a senior in high school grandson...how he made it there I would really like to know. He goes for the social aspect of school, that's it. He will graduate with a hs diploma, but he will not know anything. He can't spell, he can't write (wirte) he thinks the world revolves around computer games and FB...I could go on and on...His parents are divorced...one (the Mom)re-married, Evan is here many miles away. I wanted my Grandson to come here and go to school...you know the answer.
Children in school can sometimes be just as lost.
It's a real luck of the draw who you get for parents, who supports their children, and those who let them slip through the cracks....
I sincerely hope that she gets the support that she needs, from anyone, even a kind hearted museum worker. It's not too late for her to be someone.
Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams
because it takes work to parent... and a lot of people just don't want to do it. Selfish? self centered? lazy? all the above/
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