Yellow Page System

Do you get tired of Doctors Offices and waiting.  I know I do. I had a little problem the other day and made a same day appointment and left Far Guy and Chance in the dust. No sense having them wait, when I am perfectly capable of waiting by myself.

I had to register first and practically tell them when the last time I went to the bathroom was..in my case I felt like I had to go all the time. Then I had to answer the same questions..no I have not moved, no my phone number has not changed..yada yada yada.  I needed a lab done before my appointment.  They handed me a yellow sheet of paper and said “Here, these are the medicines you take, make changes if there are any.”   Then I have to tell everyone what my name is and when I was born. Like someone is going to impersonate me. 

I was curious about the yellow page of paper..yup everything was correct..an aspirin, a multi vitamin , my blood pressure pill and a potassium pill because I cannot eat enough bananas to keep me alive.

After my test I sat and waited and waited.  I started to notice that other people had these large yellow pages also, it was like a big ticket. Welcome to the world of Pharmaceuticals…a pill for everything…and sometimes pills because you take pills.  The handsome guy sitting two chairs down from me laid his on the end table, he was young maybe 25, his yellow page was almost empty.  The elderly gentleman scooting around in one of those fancy red metallic flake scooters with the bag on the back that said “West Palm” who also had an accident on his grey pants ( reminder to self..carry a lap robe with you if you have room on the fancy scooter) was a two pager..two full yellow pages.  Then he began to cough..poor guy..I imagined the wet spot on his pants  growing larger as he nearly coughed his guts out and his silver haired tiny little wife searched her pockets for a Kleenex. Then he began to search his own pockets for Kleenexes..I bet if he found any they would have been soggy anyway.  I reached over and grabbed a box of Kleenex and took it over to the poor guy.  Two pages..I wonder what the maximum amount of pages is..Three..Four..I wonder when you are near death perhaps your number isn’t really up..but perhaps your pages are all full. 

I waited what seemed like forever, but since I don’t wear a watch and the Clinic has no clocks around, I have no idea if the twenty minutes that I am supposed to wait patiently before complaining has passed or not. Far Guy doesn’t like me to complain, but he is at home..so he will never know. I wait patiently, I can show restraint sometimes.   I have not touched anything other than that Kleenex box..I feel the germs swirling around me.  Finally the PA pokes his head around the corner and smiles and points at me..he doesn’t have a nurse..but he knows me ( he did not ask me to spell my name or for my birthdate)..and he is retiring next month..rats. We had a great visit..I have five days of meds for my bladder “irritation”  and have a recheck next week..at which time I bet one more med is added to my yellow page.

Yesterday when Far Guy visited his Neurologist far far away, we arrived thirty minutes before our appointed time and saw two other couples that we knew.  I barely got comfortable in my chair and began to people watch when Far Guys name was called.  The Neurologist increased one of Far Guys meds again. Nothing is new in the treatment of Far Guys Atypical type of Trigeminal Neuralgia.  Far Guy was discouraged..he wants to take less medications..not more. I bet he is a full one pager or maybe even a two pager, but that Clinic apparently doesn’t care for the yellow page system:)