Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Funeral: To Each His/Her Own

 Yesterday I attended my Uncle Al's funeral.  I rode with my other baby brother and she who sees robins first.  The funeral was in a town 45 minutes away. There was a gathering time before the funeral service.

My Uncle Al had leukemia and bone cancer, he fought a good fight for over six years ...then the Doctors told him that there was nothing they could do for him anymore.  That was a few months ago shortly after that he went on Hospice.   

Uncle Al was seven years older than me.  He said "I am going to try like heck to make it to my 80th birthday." He was 39 days short of his goal.  He died exactly 4 months after his oldest sister (my Mother).

Uncle Al planned his own funeral.  Hence the name of the blog today To Each His/Hers Own.   The funeral was in an event room at the Holiday Inn.  The casket was in the far corner surrounded by flowers of many purple colors ( He was a Vikings fan).   A slide show of photos played on an large screen...but it was hard to see in a room with so many lights.  A Minister read the obituary out loud ( one of my pet peeves) ...because we cannot read for ourselves??  The sermon was the great message that we are all saved by the grace of God through his son Jesus Christ who lived a perfect life, was crucified and died for ALL our sins.  A number of people shared stories and one of his granddaughters wrote a lovely letter...it was apparent that she loved her Grandfather very much...this I knew was mutual because Uncle Al talked about all of his grandchildren with a huge smile on his face.  The music was fine...Frank Sinatra singing My Way and Elvis singing How Great Thou Art and one other song I cannot recall.  After the service the burial took place at a local cemetery and afterward there was an open bar and food served at the event center. 

We left shortly after the service. 

My Uncle Al is on the far left.  He was the 10th child born to my grandparents.  My Mother is the oldest in this photo on the far right.  Two children not pictured Alfred died in 1947 and James who died in 1948.  Now the only living person in this photo is my Uncle Kenny front row left who is two months younger than me. 

 Me and my Uncle Al in 1952. Uncle Al was seven years old when I was born.   He was the chief baby rocker in the Fall of 1951 and the Winter of 1952...there were three babies in the house...I was born in September and my Grandmother had twins in November. 

 

Funeral flowers from my siblings and I for our Uncle Al.

Far Side

 

25 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for all the losses you've had lately! It's never easy...
    Big Hug to you
    Donna

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  2. I can appreciate the fact that people can plan and organize their own funerals in the manner to which they would like to be remembered.

    My dad's funeral was more of a luncheon and get together with easels of photos of my dad's life. We had it at my brother's house. Dad did not want anything traditional as he was not a traditional guy.

    I realized after we lost both my FIL and MIL, that Rich was the last male of his family, so the name will end with him.

    I'm sorry you lost your Uncle, but it sounds like he was a very interesting fella!

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  3. it is a gift to loved ones when someone makes all their own plans...so difficult to watch as loved ones pass one by one...i had 13 cousins once, now only 4...no aunts or uncles left either...

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  4. I'm a sucker for non-traditional funerals that break out of the mold a bit. When my mom died, we never held a funeral per her wishes. Instead, the following year we just invited everyone out to the farm where we sat out in lawn chairs, ate grilled bratwursts and took turns sharing stories. I liked it so much that I hope those who knew me might do the same thing when I'm gone.

    I find myself looking more and more at pictures where most of the people in them are gone. It certainly reminds me that we are all dying and my time is coming sooner than I'd like.

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  5. He lived a very good life, it seems. And so many who love him came to send his to the next place. Nice flowers. May he rest in peace.

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  6. What beautiful, colorful flowers.
    Nice to see the old photos.
    Glad you were able to go and it sounds like he was deeply loved.

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  7. You had a good look back at some very pleasant things in uncle Al's life.

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  8. Having one's funeral planned certainly makes things easier on the family who are managing their grief. My mom did so, and it was a traditional church service. We did change up her pallbearers because everyone she had named was in their 70's and 80's, so we named them honorary pallbearers instead.

    My Dad left a note that read, "same as Betty's" but we took some license as he was not a church goer so we moved it to the funeral home chapel. No one read the obituary, rather my brother gave the eulogy and a few others spoke as well.

    In my mind, it's the stories that are shared and the genuine love and affection expressed that makes a funeral a special event.

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  9. Your grandma had her hands full. Uncle Al sounds like a good guy and that sounds like a nice funeral. It's thoughtful of him to plan everything in advance. Sympathy to you.

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  10. May his soul rest in eternal peace.
    I think it's a good idea to plan your own funeral, saves a lot of work for the living. Ted and I have both planned ours.

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  11. Planning ones on funeral got me thinking. What would I plan? Sounds like Al had some great kids for grandchildren.

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  12. My condolences on your loss. You must have had a special connection with him knowing that he rocked you as a baby.

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  13. What a beautiful tribute to your Uncle Al. Those flowers are gorgeous, too.
    That is great he planned his own funeral. Those are my plans, also and I had better get on it - - sooner before there is no more later.
    I want to write our obits and the girls can tweak them since they are both good with words. For my husband's I want sports references - - mainly baseball but he likes golf and most others, too. Too many hits are just "blah".
    There was a really original and funny one a few months back. I should have copied, pasted, and saved it to share with friends. it was great. Then there was one written by a widower who started it off with something like - - - - "I am sitting here beside your empty chair - - heartbroken while remembering our lives together." Then he started telling about her. It was beautiful.
    I rambled on just to say - - - Uncle Al did a good job!

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  14. Sorry for the loss of your uncle, I would plan my own funeral but my thoughts on what I would like change, so I will leave it up to my girls to sort out when the time comes

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  15. Sorry to hear of your loss. I, too, had a funeral to attend this week as another family elder passed away. It is hard sometimes to think that we are now in the "elders" group ourselves. Big hugz, Mxx

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  16. So many losses in your family this past year. It's hard to lose the ones we love. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  17. I did enjoy seeing the photos and hearing stories about your family. I guess it's good when people let their wishes be known. I've told Dennis about songs I would like and he has done the same, but that's about it. We're not big picture takers so I don't know if there would be enough for a power point like most seem to have.
    I'm so sorry that you've had so much loss recently. Each one seems to get harder and harder.
    I am glad that the minister talked about the Salvation plan. Maybe someone heard it that really needed it.
    Take care my friend.
    Blessings and hugs,
    Betsy

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  18. My condolences on your loss. Your uncle Al sounds like a great guy. It was very thoughtful of him to plan his own funeral and not leave that task to others.

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  19. You and your family have had your share of loss this year.

    I haven’t thought much about my own funeral, but I think a simple church service is the best way to go. I share your thoughts on reading the obituary at a funeral - not necessary.

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss. It seems like a special bond with you and your uncle so close in age. Your family has had a sad season.
    Not a fan of obituary reading. I suspect the reader is learning about the person he is going to speak of - the attendees already know all the family details. It just seems off.

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  21. Glad Uncle Al carried off his funeral. Sister Helen is like Al she has it all planned. Sister Fleta told her to go ahead but if we out live her we’ll do as we please. I’m trying to take a middle route toward harmony. Fleta wants Coin Church not graveyard service like Helen wants. Helen had her casket made. It’s stored in her house. I say alls well that ends well. If we believe surely we believe it’s a good ending.

    The flowers you chose are beautiful.

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  22. So sorry for your loss. Sounds as if your uncle Al knew exactly what he wanted at his service.....this can sometimes be very helpful for a family. My MIL had her service completely planned even as to who she wants to speak and NO SERMON. She was a very dedicated Christian lady, but just did not want the preacher to preach. Prayers for your family

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  23. Beautiful flowers, sending my sympathy. Uncle Al had a very interesting funeral, I like them that way.

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  24. Good for Uncle Al for doing his own planning and doing it his way. Love the colorful flowers.

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Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comments! If you have a question I will try to answer it here. I no longer accept anonymous comments. All comments will be approved before posting...due to spammers...may the fleas of a thousand camels infest every hair on his body. Connie