Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Perfume Patrol

Recently we had a “perfume encounter”…it was bad.  We moved Far Guy as far away as we could from the airspace.  He was still sick for more than 24 hours, he said he felt like his lungs were burned.  Me… I just got a migraine headache…no fun but when we go out we have to put up with second hand perfume and the consequences.

This lady obviously blew out what ever olfactory cells she had left and then spritzed on more perfume.   How can people not know they smell horrid.  Do they do it to be younger, sexier or what?

Perfume sucks.  I don’t care if it is in your hand lotion or your bug spray…your shampoo or body wash…Good Lord you make life miserable for some people. For those of you who wear perfume…you smell bad…couldn’t you just take a regular bath instead of a perfume bath? 

I am tempted to make up cards that say “Your perfume stinks and so do you.”   How about a flag that I can wave that says Perfume Patrol and just bop the stinky numbskulls on the head….I would probably end up in jail.  How about we carry gas masks with us every place we go and pop them on when smelly people arrive.

We are held captive most of the winter, enclosed spaces with a cornucopia of perfumey women and after shavey men are just to much for Far Guy.  Now that spring is here we would really like to go more places.

We can go to garage sales…and open air spaces…because we can move away from perfumey people.  Church is really really difficult. They should have outside seating or maybe a drive up church service.

Did you know that perfume companies don’t have to list their “secret” ingredients?  Like vomit of sperm whales…oh and musk…do you know that comes from the glands of a male musk deer..and how about some feces from civet cats?  Perhaps cut with a few dirty diapers. 

Sure, I have heard it said “I only wear a little perfume.”  Try no perfume for ten days, I don’t think you will go through withdrawal.  Some say oh it must be my hand lotion…well try some coconut oil instead of that shit you rub on your hands.  Got questions?  Stop by my house and I will give you my honest opinion of your perfume…outside.

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20 comments:

  1. So very sorry FG has been sick from the perfume. Such a shame that you can't even go places in springtime due to smells. I worked for a man 35 yrs ago whose wife STILL wears the same perfume...every piece of clothing, her chair, their car...everything smells like that perfume. They must be immune to the odor. Mother had asthma, so none of us ever used smelly things. My dad's sister would show up drenched in perfume time after time, even after being told how sick it made mother. Some folks just don't understand or care the consequences for others.

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  2. Moms allergies and sense of smell were so intense she could not get close to the detergent or candle isle and would "allow" Dad to do the shopping.

    I have noticed some places with signs that request no perfume wearing. This are small businesses but I think you should be allowed to announce you are sensitive to the smells. Most of the time the people are oblivious to their smell.

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  3. I know what you are going through. I have asthma and am very sensitive to scents. I don't go out very often because of the reaction I have. People just don't "get it". Take care.

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  4. I'm really sensitive to certain perfumes -- ugh! And men's aftershave (just perfume by a different name) as well. This was a huge problem when I was a kid (especially in church -- I'd have to go walk outside or I'd faint), but it seems like people don't wear perfume as much any more.

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  5. There was a woman who worked where I did and you could smell her coming. When she rode in the elevator, the smell lingered for a long time. She was also a smoker so she probably had no idea, but I remember how awful that smell seemed to me. So sorry Far Guy was sickened by that smell bomb. :-(

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  6. I haven't worn perfume for many years, as we have friends who are allergic, and I am much more aware of the effect on those who have allergies. Sorry for the encounter you had. Some perfumes seem to be very delicate and not so offensive, but some are horrible.

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  7. I haven't worn perfume for a long time - it all seems too powerful to me. Whatever happened to delicate scents?

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    1. I don't think there are any delicate scents:(

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  8. That's how I feel about the fumes from diesel engines. Instantly makes me sick.

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  9. I'm right there with you...!
    Even the die in some clothing and fabric gets to me......yuck!!!!

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  10. Perfume gives my youngest daughter a headache. Hope Far Guy feels better soon. That's terrible. I've gotten in line at the grocery behind someone loaded in perfume and it almost takes your breath away.

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  11. There was a teacher our only had in high school who nearly died from smelling some smelly shit in her classes..She was rushed to the e/r and given life support banging on her chest, oxygen, etc. She survived the kid who put on the aftershave was nearly charged with attempted murder on another human being he got the shellacking of his lifetime with the judge our only female judge in this county at the time..The teacher came around health wise but her classrooms had huge signs and kids were lined up and really smelled (tested) by another teacher who was not allergic if they smelled they were not allowed to be in her class period and lost a day of their classes and had to make them up also her class had to have filters and a ventilation system;, she just retired & I went to the retirement party for my only child no one wore anything but smiles, clothes and happy thoughts for her..DO PEOPLE NOT BELIEVE OTHERS COULD GET FATALLY ILL BY THE CRAP THEY WEAR.WELL IT HAPPENS! Praying for your husband far guy and I think people who have no regards for others should be shot I truly truly doooooo! I am a far side of 50 person just turned 67 this past 24th of may and only 41 years of marriage tomorrow May 27, 2015...we just don't get it in our marriage that some people think they can destroy other's good life by the shit they put on their bodies, oh my goodness sakes alive...I so hope your hubs and you don't have to endure anymore of that crap! & that your hubs is healing and you don't have anymore headaches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  12. You can smell them coming from a mile away. Sometimes in a cafe you have your meal ruined by being around the neighbor in the booth. It is worth it for you two to really be very selective in what and where you go. I guess I would become a hermit more or doing things that doesn't involve large crowds.

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  13. We have a "fragrance free" environment at work, but every once and awhile someone defies the rules. I ride public transportation and some mornings it really reeks inside the train, from people (male and female) who have doused themselves. Yeah, I totally agree with you - I don't like any scented products at all.

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  14. Some of these people really cannot smell their perfume. Genetically , we have not been programmed for perfumes. Allergies are a great challenge to manage.

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  15. You poor, Guy's
    That is why we stay at home now.

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  16. Oh gosh! Feel better quickly, both of you. I have to sit in the very back of church and sometimes I have to move.

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  17. While I do not have reactions to scents, I don't like them either. I do confess to scented hand lotion, and I wear lavender lotion on my hands at night. I don't subject others to this olfactory intrusion.

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  18. No! Not coconut oil! I once used a coconut scented soap--unawares--when using the restroom after lunch while out of town on a day-long business meeting. Couldn't figure out why I kept sneezing all the rest of the day...I've since learned to stay away!

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  19. I love coconut oil and buy the virgin/cold-pressed stuff - we use it on our hair, faces and bodies as well as cooking.

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Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comments! If you have a question I will try to answer it here. Connie