Sunday, February 5, 2012

Cemetery Thoughts

The gates down at the cemetery are always open.  The past few days they have been frosty.

Cemetery Gates

I spend a fair amount of time taking photographs in this cemetery.  It is not far from our house and  it is on the way down to the river.

It is all fenced.

Frosty Fences

I am not sure if that is to keep people in..or to keep them out.  Perhaps they just define the space. 

Down the fnce row

Along this fence row is where we buried my cousin several years ago..he was young.  Little did I know when I took this photo..his only sister was losing her battle after a pulmonary embolism and a heart attack.  She died yesterday..she was just 41 years old a few days ago.  She is survived by four brothers. She was never married and she had no children.  One of my other girl cousins became her guardian after both of her parents died. She had special needs..but was able to care for herself..she just needed a little help to make good decisions.  I was nineteen years old when she was born.  She was my Uncle and Aunts only daughter, and they were just thrilled when she was born.  I am sure they were just as thrilled to see her again yesterday.

I saw her in the Clinic a few weeks ago..I just said a quick “Hi, how are you doing?”  I wish I had taken the time to give her a hug..but she wasn’t a touchy feely type of person that enjoyed hugs anyway..she liked her own personal space.

I have a whole bunch of cousins on that side of my family..41 cousins and now 3 are gone..dead.  So I only have 38.  That may seem like a lot to you..but it really isn’t.  I know many of them quite well.   My cousins range in age from 73 to 40.  When the older ones can remember when the younger ones were born..and then the younger ones die..it is difficult.

So we will have a funeral one day this week.  And lunch..with hotdish and rainbow Jell-O and cake..here in Minnesota we always eat well after a funeral.

We drove by the Cemetery last night..a number of people now have solar lights  decorating their graves.  Far Guy finds the lights a bit disturbing, and a lot spooky.  I think they are pretty.  I wondered aloud  “What would happen if someone bought a whole bunch of lights and spelled out something that could be seen from an airplane?”  Far Guy inquired  “What would you write?”  I said “Help Me” and then we both laughed:)

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25 comments:

LadyFi said...

OK - that was funny - the Help Me message!

So sorry to hear about your loss.

Those cemetery shots are lovely though!

Country Gal said...

Sorry to hear of the loss of your cousin so young to ! I have cousins I have never met . The last part about the lights and the message Help Me was funny !Awesome frosty photos ! Have a good day !

Rae said...

Minnesota isn't the only place that people eat well after a funeral. We do in Illinois too. It's probably a tradition in most places. Guess that's why they call it comfort food. Has a way of soothing the soul - especially after a family loss. I think I have to go with Far Guy on the solar light thing. It does seem kinda weird and spooky. You make me laugh - only you could think of a cemetery solar light sky beacon!

LindaG said...

Humor is a wonderful way to cope with loss. I think your idea would be wonderful.

*hugs* ♥

Gail said...

Sorry to hear of your loss.

...but your humor lives, so you will be fine!

Martha said...

Sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin :(

DJan said...

You have such a great attitude, Connie. I also laughed at the imagined sign. But I am so sorry to hear of the death of such a young person. I am sorry for your loss and hope that things start to look up. Those are nice pictures, though.

Intense Guy said...

*Hugs*

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

They have fences around cemetaries because people "are dyin' to get in".

Alan Burnett said...

I am always attracted to cemeteries : they are a wonderful gathering ground of stray memories.

Rita said...

It's unsettling to me when much younger family members die--but I'm sure you're right and they're thrilled to see her once again. Bet she'll love hugs from mom and dad! ;)

Yes, we do know how to put on a funeral spread. Hotdish and jello and rolls...lots of coffee. Sounds like she lived a good life, though, and was loved well.

Patsy said...

I have been catching up on the Owl and cute red dress. What beautiful photo's of the hoar frost. You and Chance are brave to get out to show us the frosty views but I thank you. My sympathy on the loss of your cousin.

Karen said...

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, that is much too young.
It is good to have a sense of humour in a time of sorrow, quite often you laugh and then you cry:).
I laughed at your idea of the message. I'm not sure how I'd feel about the lights in the cemetery, I think I'd have to walk in one after dark to see if I liked them or not, and right now I'm thinking I'd prefer the light:)

Dreaming said...

Your comment about wishing you had given your cousin a hug is a great reminder that life is uncertain, death is not. We just don't know when it will come. There are times I've 'lost' someone and wished I woulda, coulda, shoulda....
But, you are right... some folks aren't 'huggers'! I made that mistake with my son's girlfriend. She still laughs about it - but she was mighty uncomfy when I gave her a hug the first time I met her!

Unknown said...

I like cemetarys. When I was a kid for awhile we lived close enough to walk to the cemetary in our small town. We would walk the dogs there, read the headstones and explore. That is so sad about your cousins.

Leah said...

Sending sympathy to the family... I didn't get my pictures posted but as I took some similar photos yesterday I thought the footprints were probably yours.... I didn't have my jammies on though! :)

Linda said...

I love the old wire gates......we have them on country cemeteries here too. Sorry for your loss. 41 in just too young to go.

Anonymous said...

My deepest sympathy. In my old age, I have begun to tell folks I love them when I see them. I love the pretty fence in the snow.

I love and appreciate you, Connie. God bless you and the family, especially this week.

Red said...

41 cousins? Now that's a lot! Solar lights in the cemetery? I think it would be spooky. Our cemetery is so far in the boonies that it's toally dark out there.

linda m said...

Sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin. I find it very difficult to deal with the loss of someone younger than myself - seems the "old ones" should be going first. The pictures of your cemetery are very pretty.

Anonymous said...

My sympathy in the loss of your cousin. This is a wonderful post about her. The pictures are so pretty. God's blessings to you and the families.
Phyl

Anonymous said...

I love solar lights. Love the Help me. My cousin Edna Mae sure will miss her. Ann

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

Sorry for your loss. I've been noticing the solar lights also and wondering where this trend got started. I find it a bit creepy, but also comforting at the same time. Gorgeous photos today- thanks for sharing.

L. D. said...

It is a tough loss. I am sorry. It sounds like she took care of herself for the most part and being independent was important to her.

I can't believe you have that many cousins. The cemetery is an interesting place to visit in the winter. I hope that it isn't too cold that day.

Terry and Linda said...

I had to read that last part to my husband...we both laughed out-loud!


Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
http://deltacountyhistoricalsociety.wordpress.com

Ellen said...

I too am deeply sorry for your loss. Times like these are so painful. We have a large family and numerous cousins too. Everybody is close so I know what you mean. My nephew passed last year suddenly of a heart attack at age 42. I miss him terribly.