Saturday, January 3, 2009

Mrs. B and Pastor B: The Rest Of The Story

A few days ago I wrote about our next door neighbors Mrs B and Pastor B. They lived next door to us for nine years. Nine years of fresh bread and cookies brought over quickly as long as the dogs were safely in the house. Nine years of hitting the dirt when Mrs B was hunting red squirrels that were raiding bird nests. Nine years of encouraging talks by Pastor B. When he knew that we had a particularly rough Fire and Rescue Call he would say "You did what you could, you can't save them all, some are just bound for heaven."

One cold April night, the pager went off. It was a Rescue call, next door at the B's. We were there within two minutes, Pastor B was sitting on the couch, moaning and making funny sounds. We could get no other response from him. I told him that we were there and everything was going to be OK. Silently I prayed that it would be so. After several minutes he stopped breathing, Far Guy and I moved him to the floor as gently as we could. I inserted an airway and began rescue breathing. Far Guy was monitoring his pulse, when we lost that Far Guy began CPR. More help was arriving, finally the Ambulance crew from Park Rapids arrived. We worked feverishly to keep him alive. At one point one of the guys took Pastor B's very large cross from around his neck and handed it to me. It was still warm, and fit perfectly in my hand. I backed away. Far Guy and the Chief went with the Ambulance to the hospital. I stayed behind to call Pastor F and to lock up the house. I called my parents to accompany me to the hospital, they were good friends with the B's. I held that cross in my hand and prayed non stop all the way to the hospital.

At the ER, things were not looking good. The Doctor's had done what they could (ruptured aortic aneurysm was their diagnosis) and once rescue efforts were discontinued Pastor B would be gone. I found Mrs B in a waiting room and handed her Pastor B's cross, it was still warm from being clutched tightly in my hand. Mrs B had tears in her eyes. The Doctor came in and told her that rescue efforts would be discontinued soon. She would have time for a final goodbye.

Later we drove Mrs B home, we asked her if we could help her call her children. She replied" No, there is no sense in waking them, morning will be soon enough for them to know." She did not want either of us to stay with her, she just wanted to be alone with her grief. The next day she made all of the Funeral arrangements herself, she did not want her children to come until the day before the Funeral.

Far Guy and I tried our best to save Pastor B, Mrs B knew that..she thanked us for being there. I have gone over and over this particular call in my head thousands of times. Should I have done something different? I can truthfully say "No." Do I wish the outcome had been different? Absolutely, Pastor B was a good man, his retired ministry was visiting the infirm and the elderly. God had different plans for him. Pastor B's words would echo through my brain .."Some are just bound for heaven."

Pastor B and Mrs B's children greeted us at the funeral with hugs and many thanks for being there for their Father. Some members of our church were not so gracious. They wondered why we couldn't save him, that's what we were trained to do. We were failures, their church lost a valuable member and it was all our fault.

Mrs B sold her place at the lake, and moved into an apartment in town. We went and had lunch with her on several occasions. She moved closer to her children and then died a few years later. I sent a card to her children, and received a lovely note back from her daughter saying "Thanks for being such good neighbors to my parents."

Mrs B was a strong woman, when it snows and blows at night I often think of her walking in front of their car for two miles on that stormy Christmas Eve, with one hand on the car, helping to guide Pastor B as he drove. How cold it must have been for her, how frightening, yet she put one foot in front of the other to guide them both safely home:)

14 comments:

Jan said...

Wow! You did what you could. I think it is human nature to go over and over in our heads what we could have done different. Mrs B knew and her children knew. And that is what counts.

Jeanne Estridge said...

This man had an aortic aneurysm burst, but you should have saved him? With what, super glue and a paring knife? I hope you're not still beating yourself over this. God called this man home. Your town is very fortunate to have you and Far Guy around to save the ones who can be saved.

Photonuts said...

Nice...sounds like where my daddy lives in Oklahoma...he still keeps a garden at 88...rides the tractor over to the neighbors...

flydragon said...

This one brought a tear to my eye.

Pamela said...

having lived with a firefighter/paramedic the past three decades, I understand the review going on in your head after the event. As the shift captain, they would do an incident reviewas a group. "What did we do wrong?" "What could we have done differently?"

In the end, my husband always congratulated them on a job well done.

That is what I would have said to you. Well Done.
Same for Pastor B. Well done.

(and this post.. well done, too!)

Lilly said...

That is a wonderful heartfelt post. You did all you could and more. I cannot believe the attitudes of people who werent even there blaming for you for not saving him. His wife and children knew though.

Anonymous said...

Oh what a sweet post. I for one have a tremendous respect/gratitude for what you and Far Guy did. We do all we can but ultimately God does call his children home when He sees fit. Aren't you blessed to have had the many years you did with these neighbors and they with you?

Anonymous said...

I sure do like reading your stories. I feel like I know the people you write about.

laurie said...

the christmas eve story is amazing. you should write it as a short story; it's beautiful. and your being there at the end, doing what you could---what an honor for you, Far Side. you did your best; everyone dies; it was his time. but you were there for them,and you did what you could, and that's all anybody can ask. you have my great admiration.

Dot O said...

I found you by way of This DVM Wife's Life. Can't wait to have some time to read through your older entries.

I too love photography but have so much to learn. Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

That's a very moving story. Thanks for sharing -and thanks for doing you best back then!

Jeanne Estridge said...

We're absolutely still friends. I thought I remembered reading that you didn't do the award thing, but when I went back to look for that statement, I didn't find it, and decided I must have seen it somewhere else. (Which, as you know from my various posts, is how I usually get into trouble!)

In my heart, though, you're still richly deserving!

Coffee with Cathy said...

What a moving story -- and how lucky your neighbors were to have you, despite what the naysayers thought. Thank you for sharing.

RURAL said...

I so agree with every comment above. You did an amazing job of trying to save him. It was his time, and there was nothing else to be done for him.

Thank you for being one of the wonderful people who are calm, and competent enough to help in emergencies. Not everyone is able to do that job.

Jen

Oh and re: the Amaryllis, of course a heavy pot would have done the job, LOL. But why would I learn from my mistakes? The lovely glass forcing Amaryllis vase was so much nicer looking.