Monday, November 17, 2008

Cuts With Scissors

Today I feel compelled to tell you a little bit about Lattice. I prefer to call her L. She is an Idaho gal, I met her back about 1992 ( she will correct me if I have this year wrong.) She was in love with one of my favorite young men in the whole world. Yes, they got married! The rest is history, and you can check out her blog for yourself! Recently she wrote about their trip to the west coast, and made reference to one of my local claims to fame. Cutting off peoples clothing. Well that was all I needed to hear! It brought back some old memories...

Being a volunteer EMT and Fire-woman on the local fire department located near a "hot bed of activity" I was able to hone my EMT skills like never before. The first rules are SRABCDE easy to remember...
Safety (No guns?)
Response ( I like screamers)
Airway ( The reason I like screamers..it is like a four-fer one)
Breathing ( Again..Screamers are doing this well)
Circulation (Probably is pretty good if they are screaming)
Disability ( Can I get them to stop screaming long enough to get them to squeeze both my hands, and can they push against both of my hands when they are on the bottom of their feet)

Expose..the scissors part, my very favorite!

First off EMT's scissors have a guard on them, they do not have pointy ends. I have never cut anyone, EVER, but I have cut off some interesting clothing. Designer Jeans, Snowmobile Suits, Cowboy Boots, Down Coats (very messy), all kind of shirts, pants, bras..etc. You see if you are unfortunate to have been in an accident, you are going to end up NAKED. I do not care if you are a man or a woman, sometimes I will leave your undies on..if you are wearing any. I do not care if you have holey underwear, I do not care if it was clean this morning..by the time I am working on you..they are most likely a little bit dirty. I can cut all your clothing off of you with five cuts..one up each of your legs to your waist band, one up each of your sleeves and the last one up the front of your shirt. We will then log roll you right out of all of your clothing..slicker than snot on a doorknob. I can then check out your back, your front and then I will cover you with a blankie..because I am not a heartless bitch.

Now the fancy EMT's in the big cities wear special pants, they carry their scissors on them. I was most often awakened by the pager, I would throw on a pair of sweats, tuck my nightgown in my pants and head out. The scissors were in the Jump Bag. On scene.. I always had to ask for what I needed, The Chief or Far Guy or Lattice's Beau would hand me whatever I asked for. I was pretty communicative and bossy at an accident scene. SCISSORS! was always met with a bit of hesitation..someone would eventually say "Give her the damn scissors or we will never hear the end of it."

The guys kind of made a pact, if any of them were in an accident, they did not want me or my scissors anywhere near them. Fortunately for them..I retired :)

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL ... so you are good at cutting remarks and good at cutting with scissors.

Michelle said...

I wish my mom was still alive so she could read this post. She always told me I had to wear clean underwear just in case I was ever in an accident. I always had a problem with her reasoning. Now I know why.

Lattice said...

Oh Far--you're the best! Thanks for trainin' up my great guy and makin' such memories... ;~)

Leilani Schuck Weatherington said...

My boy was an EMT and I still have an EMT scissor in one of the drawers... now where the heck is that...

RURAL said...

I am never ever going anywhere without clean underwear ever, again. Not that I do go anywhere without clean underwear......LOL

Jen

flydragon said...

Oh Lordy. LOL LOL
Thank god for the blankie!!

Anonymous said...

as they say... the first cut is the deepest. you go!

gp in montana

Unknown said...

Too funny! Guess you could use this trick when it comes to romance too. :)

Unknown said...

You cracked me up about the blanket and not being a heartless bitch. :)

Jewel said...

Oh, I hope I'm never in an accident. I love your stories.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Thanks for your comments! I was perhaps a little scissors happy! I had not thought about it in a long time until Lattice mentioned it in her blog:)

DayPhoto said...

We have First Responder Training with Mining Emphasis that I coordinate here. I read them your story....everyone had a great laugh. SISSORS!

No I am not an emt-b or EMT, but I do work with them!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordprss.com

Lattice said...

LOL, but I don't think you were a heartless bitch. We just all knew for sure that the scissors HAD to come out! Thanks for reminding me of the good times we had at our victims' expense!

Lattice's Beau